One Year Anniversary? Twelve Year Anniversary?

It's already been a year? It's only been a year? These are the questions Dr. J and I have been asking each other, and ourselves, lately . . . because today, we have been officially married for one whopping year! Then again, today also marks exactly twelve years from our very first date.

Dr. J and I met at W & J College back in January of 1993. We were mere freshman, and he was a long way off from being "Dr. J." Hey, I was a lot different back then, too! The then "Mr. J" was a too-skinny guy who had let the brothers of Phi Kappa Psi Fraternity (which he desparately wanted to pledge) shave his head. Yeah . . . it wasn't the best style move he ever made. Thankfully, it had started to grow back before we began dating, otherwise there would have been no date.

There were rumors on campus that Mr. J was either a narc, or he was from a Bronx mafia family and carried a 9mm at all times. I recall him as an incredibly bitter young man with a thick "New Yahk" accent. His bitter attitude, accent, and a language pattern that made extensive use of the "F-word" were an irresistible combination for me. I had to have him!

Eleven years later, on 01/24/04, we found ourselves deciding to ruin a perfectly good life of living in sin by getting married. Over the years we had both grown, as individuals, and together. Neither of us really thought that being married would be any different then the past eight years we had spent living together. Heck, we had a joint checking account, had lived in the Silicon Valley for four years, had health scares, great joys, major disappointments, and were well on our way to become bona fide adults. Nonetheless, numerous married couples seemed insistent that our lives would suddenly be so different because we had made it official.

One year later, I can't say that marriage has changed our relationship, or our lives, that much. We both think this is because we went through so many difficult, life-changing events before we were married, that it forced us to "Act Like A Married Couple" long before we even got engaged.

I am still glad I was attracted to a skinny, trash-talking, bitter New Yorker. Our many adventures, for the all the thrills and scares, have made us the incredibly strong couple, and individuals, we are today. Dr. J is still the funniest guy I know. And he is the one true man I can always turn to. He's someone I have an immense amount of admiration for. I am in awe of the man he has become. I smile when I think of the father he will someday be. And I couldn't breathe without him.

Dr. J, I love you. Always.